I Will, With God's Help

This day marks the seventh anniversary of my ordination to pastoral ministry. I read again and contemplate the words said, the commitments made, and I ponder my faithfulness -- and sometimes my faithlessness -- to those vows. To each of the charges made those seven years ago, I responded either "I will, with God's help," or "I will, by God's grace." I know better now just how dependent one is on God's help and God's grace. Reading the words again this day humbles me. And, I think now, a better response to each charge is "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."

As a minister, it will be your task to proclaim by word and deed the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and to fashion your life in accordance with its precepts. You are to love and serve the people among whom you work, caring alike for the young and old, strong and weak, rich and poor. You are to lead the people of God to be obedient servants, to preach, to demonstrate concern for love, justice, and freedom, to counsel the troubled in spirit, to teach from the riches of God's grace, to serve the poor, the sick, and the oppressed, and to equip all Christian to be in ministry and in service to the community.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Will you be diligent in the reading and study of the Holy Scriptures, and in seeking the knowledge of such things as may make you a stronger and more able minister of God?

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Will you endeavor so to minister the Word of God and the sacraments of the New Covenant, that the reconciling love of Christ may be known and received?

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Will you undertake to be a faithful pastor to all whom you are called to serve, laboring together with them and with your fellow ministers to build up the family of God?

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Will you do your best to pattern your life in accordance with the teacdhings of Christ, so that you may be a wholesome example to your people?

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Will you be faithful in prayer, both in public and in private, asking God's grace, both for yourself and for others, offering your labors to God, and with the Holy Spirit continually rekindle the gift of God that is in you?

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Will you live so that the power of God may be manifest in your life and ministry, enabling others to become disciples of Christ?

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Will you accept the duties that have beenb committed to your care, and will you discharge them faithfully in serving all persons to the glory of God?

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

For nearly six years I served in pastoral ministry to a small congregation, weekly proclaiming the Word of God, celebrating the Eucharist, and administering other sacraments as warranted. The ordination and the following ministry changed me in ways I could not have imagined. I now consider ordained ministry as an ontological vocation -- a new way of being in the world -- and not merely as an existential exercise. Though I am no longer in a position to officially exercise many of the functions of pastoral ministry -- I am, in fact, now in a church in which I am not authorized to serve pastorally or sacramentally -- I am no less a pastor than before, and my vows are no less binding. The question can never again be for me, Am I a pastor?, but only, Am I a faithful pastor? And again, I can only say,

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.